news Canadian News
Good Afternoon Guest | login or register
  • Home
    • Canadian News
    • Popular News
    • News Voting Log
    • News Images
  • Forums
    • Recent Topics Scroll
    •  
    • Politics Forums
    • Sports Forums
    • Regional Forums
  • Content
    • Achievements
    • Canadian Content
    • Famous Canadians
    • Famous Quotes
    • Jokes
    • Canadian Maps
  • Photos
    • Picture Gallery
    • Wallpapers
    • Recent Activity
  • About
    • About
    • Contact
    • Link to Us
    • Points
    • Statistics
  • Shop
  • Register
    • Gold Membership
  • Archive
    • Canadian TV
    • Canadian Webcams
    • Groups
    • Links
    • Top 10's
    • Reviews
    • CKA Radio
    • Video
    • Weather

Second civil war letters: Alex Jones conspiracy

Canadian Content
20776news upnews down

Second civil war letters: Alex Jones conspiracy ignites a parody conflict


Funny | 207756 hits | Jul 05 8:14 am | Posted by: DrCaleb
18 Comment

Parody letters from a "second civil war" to topple Donald Trump flood Twitter on the Fourth of July.

Comments

  1. by avatar Freakinoldguy
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 4:38 pm
    To quote Bug's Bunny "what a maroon". Doesn't Mr. Jones realise that the US has been in a virtual state of civil war since 68' Democratic Convention. :wink:

    The only thing that's changed is the party that's being targeted.

  2. by avatar BartSimpson  Gold Member
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:38 pm
    That little Antifag twerp from Portland who's in a coma after getting his lights put out by a real man is a very real casualty of the civil war.

    Except that the war didn't go the way the Incel Division of Antifag thought it would go. :lol:

  3. by Thanos
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:47 pm
    That guy deserves a coma for attacking the other guy with a collapsible baton. His bad luck for getting nailed hard by someone much better at the street game. And for being dumb enough to let it be recorded too because the lad who knocked him the fuck out was clearly acting in self-defense.

    As for the "letters", I put one in an got eighty likes (my best results on Twitter ever) for comparing Mar-A-Lago to Andersonville and saying that the MAGA commanders used up all the medical care to treat their genital warts instead of using it to tend to their own badly-wounded troops. 8)

  4. by avatar bootlegga
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:03 pm
    That was some of the best humour I've ever seen on Twitter - here's a few good ones:

    Dearest:

    We met to launch the #SecondCivilWar today at a brunch hotspot. We weren't informed there'd be bottomless mimosas; casualties from drunkenness have been staggering.

    Fortunately, the RedHats can't decide whether their maps are "fake news" or not.

    #secondcivilwarletters


    Dearest Mother.

    I write during a lull in fire at my post at IHOB. Heavy casualties overnight due to a shortage of sliders and pancake syrup. The enemy has taken to assaulting us with poisoned Skittles and covfefe. General Stormy promises relief, but I'm not sure we'll last another day. Please tell Father I love him. And also that I was the one who drank all his expensive malt whiskey.

    #secondcivilwarletters


    War is hell. This is the 3rd week of the Dunkin' Doughnuts siege. The mess hall ran out of gluten free bagels and we were forced to start in on the inventory. I feel so sluggish that the enemy could walk up to me and slit my throat. Our only saving grace is that the company outside is comprised mainly of vegans and we are gradually taking them out with well aimed stale rolls. Smithy caught one in the leg the other day and he went down with a sickening crack as his leg bone shattered. Unfortunately Johnson bit it yesterday. He was taking a selfie with a POW when a sniper took his head off. Luckily the phone was undamaged and the resulting picture is currently trending.

    The tide is likely to turn soon when our reinforcements from Texas arrive hopped up on chemically washed beef. Those weak boned losers won't know what hit them. Anyway, must go now as the evening Latte rations are being served and I want to get there before the chocolate sprinkles run out.

    Your loving son Tarquin


    ROTFL

  5. by avatar BartSimpson  Gold Member
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:04 pm
    casualties from drunkenness have been .


    ROTFL :lol:

  6. by avatar Coach85
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:20 pm
    Antifag?

    While I agree with you Bart, no need to throw in the homophobe stuff

  7. by Thanos
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:22 pm
    Dearest Martha,
    Even bloody and bruised, and suffering from their horrific dependencies to meth, hentai, and jenkem, the surrendering MAGAs and mom's-basement dwellers from 4Chan and Reddit still carried themselves with a certain pride and dignity. It was a sight to stir the heart as they regretfully handed over their keyboards and anime-pillows ...


    That entire thread was terrific, one of Twitter's greatest moments in it's entire history. :mrgreen:

  8. by avatar N_Fiddledog
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:43 pm
    Reminds me of that South Park episode where Cartman refights the civil war to win a bet.


  9. by avatar Tricks
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:07 pm
    "Thanos" said
    Dearest Martha,
    Even bloody and bruised, and suffering from their horrific dependencies to meth, hentai, and jenkem, the surrendering MAGAs and mom's-basement dwellers from 4Chan and Reddit still carried themselves with a certain pride and dignity. It was a sight to stir the heart as they regretfully handed over their keyboards and anime-pillows ...


    That entire thread was terrific, one of Twitter's greatest moments in it's entire history. :mrgreen:

    Your obsession with Reddit is very strange.

  10. by Thanos
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:09 pm
    Reddit didn't do itself any favours with the sort of boards it used to allow to exist on their platform. They only did something about it when they got called out for it. And they still let way too many things go with what they permit the alt-Reich and others to post. Example, .

  11. by avatar BartSimpson  Gold Member
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:39 pm
    "Coach85" said
    Antifag?

    While I agree with you Bart, no need to throw in the homophobe stuff


    Thanks, I won't use this one again. Just getting sick of these little twerps assaulting people and the pattern is always these white, vegetarian-esque, pasty-faced, momma's boys who literally can't take the violence they dish out.

  12. by avatar BartSimpson  Gold Member
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:41 pm
    "Thanos" said
    Reddit didn't do itself any favours with the sort of boards it used to allow to exist on their platform. They only did something about it when they got called out for it. And they still let way too many things go with what they permit the alt-Reich and others to post. Example, .


    Some people still believe in free speech...warts and all.

  13. by Thanos
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 9:53 pm
    It is what it is but Reddit can't complain if others think that they're a place to avoid because they opt to not do anything when their platform is used by cretins. It's long past time to quit pretending that these basement-dwellers with their kek flags and stupid Pepe avatars are just some "harmless" young pranksters. They're not, they're willing volunteers and promoters of a movement that is atavistic and, at it's core, completely reprehensible.

  14. by avatar BartSimpson  Gold Member
    Thu Jul 05, 2018 10:25 pm
    "Thanos" said
    It is what it is but Reddit can't complain if others think that they're a place to avoid because they opt to not do anything when their platform is used by cretins. It's long past time to quit pretending that these basement-dwellers with their kek flags and stupid Pepe avatars are just some "harmless" young pranksters. They're not, they're willing volunteers and promoters of a movement that is atavistic and, at it's core, completely reprehensible.


    I happen to like Pepe! :D



view comments in forum
Page 1 2

You need to be a member of CKA and be logged into the site, to comment on news.

  • Login
  • Register (free)
 Share  Digg It Bookmark to del.icio.us Share on Facebook


Share on Facebook Submit page to Reddit
CKA About |  Legal |  Advertise |  Sitemap |  Contact   canadian mobile newsMobile

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2025 by Canadaka.net