Once Upon A Time In The Kingdom Of Heaven

Once upon a time in the kingdom of heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him resting on the seventh day. "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I have made." Michael looked puzzled and said, "what is it?" "i'm going to call it Earth, and it is going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" Michael was still confused God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth where Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot", God continued pointing to different countries, "this one will be hot and arid and this one covered with ice and snow" The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass in the top corner and asked "What is that one?" "Ah, that is Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people of Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous, they are going to be very found of traveling the world and they will be extremely sociable. Not to mention hard working and high chieving. They will be known throughout the world as diplomats and peacekeepers. Not to mention that I am going to give them super human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed What about balance, God. You said there was going to be BALANCE?!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud mouth ignorant bastards I'm putting next to them."