$1:
At around 11:40 a.m. CST RCMP were called about three unknown men with masked faces, wearing sunglasses who approached a worker from a local farm who was driving. The suspects approached the truck on foot. Each was carrying a handgun, according to the RCMP.
This can't be true. Everyone knows that Canada has common sense gun control laws that prohibit criminals from running around with handguns.
Now what the government and law enforcement really need to go after are those vigilantes who think they have a right to take the law into their own hands with their military style assault weapons instead of politely cooperating with the criminals...who are only committing these crimes because the minimum wage isn't high enough, because of income inequalities, racism, and global warming.
(Thought I'd beat the usual suspects to their typical scripted replies)
