[EyeBrock]

Brenda, all kids are different. I've never had to spank mine, the EB death look plus a really low and threatening tone seems to work well. They also know I'm evil.

Each to their own!

[PublicAnimalNo9]

Annihilator Annihilator:

Wtf is wrong with you guys? Since when does raising and disciplining your children means agressing, humiliating and bringing them down when they do something wrong?

Spanking won't make your children a better person, it will make your children a person that is scared of getting beaten the crap up if he doesn't do things right. You're supposed to guide them, not to dominate them. You don't make an happy and balanced individual by injecting fear into it.

Now, physical force is only one of the numerous abuses children can suffer from their parents.

Why? Is that what happend to you Annihilator? Spanking is about correcting inappropriate behaviour, not punishing someone for making a mistake.

Even what some consider "torture" isn't really. I can't count how many times I was told to go to my room and think about what I did before my parents came in.
As a kid, I thought they were being assholes and making me stressed out more on purpose. As I got older, it clicked. They did it to give themselves time to cool down so that what I got was corrective, not a beating out of frustration.
I in no way consider myself to have been abused. Especially because I got a LOT more positive reinforcement then spankings.
Now granted, I don't necessarily think spanking should be the first or only option, but it should still BE an option if the other methods ain't working.

[TattoodGirl]

EyeBrock EyeBrock:

Brenda, all kids are different. I've never had to spank mine, the EB death look plus a really low and threatening tone seems to work well. They also know I'm evil.

Each to their own!

I have never had to either...my kids know I am crazy so they never pushed their luck...just one of my looks and I always had total compliance

[Annihilator]

PublicAnimalNo9 PublicAnimalNo9:

As I got older, it clicked. They did it to give themselves time to cool down so that what I got was corrective, not a beating out of frustration.

Exactly, you got that right.

Spanking is a punishment that comes from the parent's frustration. The kid doesn't understand anything from being agressed everytime he does something wrong. The spanking does more good to the parents than it does to the children.

Parents should explain their children what is good and have them confront the consequences of their acts when they do something wrong, not to dominate them to obtain submission.

[Brenda]

Annihilator Annihilator:

PublicAnimalNo9 PublicAnimalNo9:

As I got older, it clicked. They did it to give themselves time to cool down so that what I got was corrective, not a beating out of frustration.

Exactly, you got that right.

Spanking is a punishment that comes from the parent's frustration. The kid doesn't understand anything from being agressed everytime he does something wrong. The spanking does more good to the parents than it does to the children.

Parents should explain their children what is good and have them confront the consequences of their acts when they do something wrong, not to dominate them to obtain submission.

How many kids do you have exactly?

[Alta_redneck]

Here Brenda, I know your starting to tear up a bit knowing your such an evil parent.

[BionicBunny]

I had the belt as a child or I was spanked. I didn't turn out to hate my parents or turn into a killer or a criminal.

[Zipperfish]

I don't believe in spanking. When my kids misbehave I just kick 'em in the fucking head.

[Pseudonym]

Different forms of discipline work better for different forms of people. Corporal punishment is a long tried-and-true method, but I can't say that every child will respond well to it. It really isn't the government's damn place to make that sort of decision; that authority can only lie with the parent(s).

That said, I could see legitimate concern if the parent were throttling the child. I don't see enough details in the article to make that sort of judgment, so I guess I'll have to leave it up to the cops. Hope they made the right choice with that particular situation.

[EyeBrock]

BionicBunny BionicBunny:

I had the belt as a child or I was spanked. I didn't turn out to hate my parents or turn into a killer or a criminal.

Me neither. I do twitch a bit and I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Otherwise I'm very normal. Mostly.

[Benn]

Annihilator Annihilator:

The kid doesn't understand anything from being agressed everytime he does something wrong.

Oh I understood full well what I did wrong and remembered it full well next time I was tempted to do the same thing.

That said we don't (won't when / if it come to it) use spanking the same as my parents. It's a conditioning thing and spanking for something that happened more then just at that moment or a few minutes before is not very effective. Plus we will reserve it for when our kids do something that hurt someone else (deliberately) or ignore us when doing something that will endanger themselves, like running out to the road.

Any study in conditioning will tell you that fear conditioning is more effective than reward conditioning. Its easier fora child to say "What I am doing outweighs the possible reward for not doing it" then BOOM they run into the road and get hit by a car, however when they are thinking "bad things happen when I do this" it is less likely they will do it. Young kids are creatures of instinct more than rationality, therefore rationalizing why something is dangerous to them won't always stop them.

Now my folks whacked me for doing stuff like talking back and stuff. We won't spank as a punishment for doing things like that as we don't see the punishment as fitting the crime. Talking back and hissy fits are done on high emotion which times outs often fix. Plus as mentioned in this thread there is the risk if we are frustrated with the child that the spank would be done somewhat in anger, teaching the child it was wrong but also that hitting in anger solves things.

But again, its a personal choice. One minimal force swat in the backside with a hand won't hurt a kid, more shock and hurt his or her feelings. Grabbing by the throat as was the case in this story paints A picture of an frustrated and at least as a result somewhat aggressive attitude.

[EdwardRI]

My preferred method is to first give an explanation of why they shouldn't. After that, a smack on the bottom to get the point across. It reminds them of where they are in the heirarchy and gives them a healthy fear, if nothing else.

Fear and respect, in the right doses, are healthy and productive.

[ASLplease]

I think corporal punishment is often the easy or lazy way to deal with an opportunity to teach your child discipline.

With that said, I think there are times where it is the correct thing to do.

[OnTheIce]

Brenda Brenda:

Annihilator Annihilator:

PublicAnimalNo9 PublicAnimalNo9:

As I got older, it clicked. They did it to give themselves time to cool down so that what I got was corrective, not a beating out of frustration.

Exactly, you got that right.

Spanking is a punishment that comes from the parent's frustration. The kid doesn't understand anything from being agressed everytime he does something wrong. The spanking does more good to the parents than it does to the children.

Parents should explain their children what is good and have them confront the consequences of their acts when they do something wrong, not to dominate them to obtain submission.

How many kids do you have exactly?

I'm guessing none.

[PJB]

Here is the classic form of punishment for the modern day, politically correct parent. Little Johnny is with his mommy at the store. They are in a hurry so they are walking quickly by the toys. Suddenly Johnny sees a toy he wants..He shows his mommy but mommy says, in a quiet, subserviant voice, no. Johnny freaks and yells and has a typical temper tantrum. Mommy, in an attempt to avoid embarrasment gives in and that angelic Johnny gets the toy...


WHAT DID WE LEARN CLASS?

If my kid ever did that I would either walk away or take him out to the car and leave. Either way I would not give in to the tantrum.