[ShepherdsDog]

Parents have to start monitoring their kids use of social media....it's everywhere and almost impossible to escape. Keep tabs on what your kid posts and limit their access to the internet. Parents being parents would eliminate a fair bit of this BS. You're their parent, not their friend and raising children is not about being popular with your kids. Too many confuse crushing narcissistic tendencies with damaging their self esteem

[Brenda]

Gunnair Gunnair:

Brenda Brenda:

Gunnair Gunnair:

No true. I'm referring more to the mix of excessively hormonal teens, their moral wasteland, and a ton of booze.

I understand that.
Yet, one cannot not always avoid rape, you cannot expect teens not having raging hormones and we all drank.
Then, after being raped, moved cities and schools, still being bullied is not something you can avoid.

She removed herself from the situation. It was not enough.

She removed herself from the situation after the fact. Irrespective of the bullying discussion, it's best to understand how the world works and know that this can and will occur. Don't put yourself in the situation in the first place.

She was 15. Are you saying she shouldn't have 'hung out' with people, because the risk will be that teens do stupid shit.
I'm sorry, Gunny, but blaming the victim and saying "she shouldn't have been there in the first place" is painful to read and totally unfair.

My kids are 13 and 15. EVERYONE has a cell phone. Everyone takes pictures. Everyone posts them. You cannot keep teens inside. I try to make very clear to them that whatever they do, whatever happens, it can put up on the internet and never ever disappear anymore. It is sad.

$1:

Don't get me wrong here, though. The fact is, no matter how much hand wringing and social media outrage we show, these events will continue to occur. That is a fact and it will not change. We simply must accept that bullying will occur no matter what we say, and we have to acknowledge that it is a far different kind than what we endured.

Absolutely.

[Thanos]

Gunnair Gunnair:

Thanos Thanos:

My niece is only a couple of years away from this age. I hope she's smart enough and learned enough to avoid this sort of situation, so that she never has to go through this agony. I also hope she never ends up at the mercy of a victim-bullying mob, where a bunch of clowns like Andy who think it's OK for a young girl to have a train pulled on her by some fine upstanding young men that are perfectly innocent. Woot woot! If it feels good, do it, boys! The party never stops, right Andy?

Unfair and outa line.

Consider that as your sig, maybe.

Whatever. It's happened before and it'll happen again. The local shitheads will rally around their fellow good ol' boys, the cops won't care or will get ordered not to look too closely at certain event or at certain people, and someone who didn't deserve any of it gets to go through the rest of their life with their mind and emotions like a bag of broken glass. Those of us with teen girls in our families, even if they've been raised right and aren't going to knowingly put themselves in bad situations, really only have good fortune to rely on. It's not like we can count on those with teen boys to have raised them properly and, even if they have, there's the abattoir of teen culture, putrid internet sickness, and alpha-male stupidity ranging from sports to the schoolground, working their way through those boys' minds.

All that's left is luck.

[Unsound]

Brenda Brenda:

I'm sorry, Gunny, but blaming the victim and saying "she shouldn't have been there in the first place" is painful to read and totally unfair.

She can "hang out", as you put it, no problem. But getting black out drunk with a bunch of boys is just irresponsible.

It is unfair. And it's not her fault. No one ever deserves for these things to happen to them. That is plain fact and no one disputes it. What we're saying is that it's not a perfect world and we shouldn't pretend to our kids that it is. We have to teach them how not be victims. Whether that means thinking twice about your drinking buddies, or not flashing your expensive jewellery in the wrong part of town.

[Unsound]

Thanos Thanos:

Those of us with teen girls in our families,

What about those with teen boys in the family? Boys whose entire lives can be ruined by the mere suggestion of rape?

[Thanos]

When you're around your friends and other people you know from school you shouldn't have to expect these things to happen at all. Smashing empty beer bottles in a parking lot, overturning some picnic tables in the park, or flipping off the police cars when they drive by is something that should be expected from drunk teens. A gang rape isn't.

[andyt]

Unsound Unsound:

Thanos Thanos:

I also hope she never ends up at the mercy of a victim-bullying mob, where a bunch of clowns like Andy who think it's OK for a young girl to have a train pulled on her by some fine upstanding young men that are perfectly innocent. Woot woot! If it feels good, do it, boys! The party never stops, right Andy?

This is one of the most disgusting things you've ever said. Asking to know the whole story before lynching a bunch of young boys is the equivilant of cheering on rape?

Fuck you dude.

Thank you.

[Thanos]

Unsound Unsound:

Thanos Thanos:

Those of us with teen girls in our families,

What about those with teen boys in the family? Boys whose entire lives can be ruined by the mere suggestion of rape?

A boy alone with his girlfriend is one thing. A video recorded gang fuck of a drunk girl, even in the massive unlikelihood that she has zero morals herself and agreed to it, is something else altogether. What kind of utter failure of a parent would ever be proud of or want to defend a son that behaves that way?

[Brenda]

Unsound Unsound:

Brenda Brenda:

I'm sorry, Gunny, but blaming the victim and saying "she shouldn't have been there in the first place" is painful to read and totally unfair.

She can "hang out", as you put it, no problem. But getting black out drunk with a bunch of boys is just irresponsible.

It is unfair. And it's not her fault. No one ever deserves for these things to happen to them. That is plain fact and no one disputes it. What we're saying is that it's not a perfect world and we shouldn't pretend to our kids that it is. We have to teach them how not be victims. Whether that means thinking twice about your drinking buddies, or not flashing your expensive jewellery in the wrong part of town.

I agree, but like you said, what about parents with boys? I have 2 girls. Why can't the girls make a mistake without it haunting them forever?
Raise your boys to NOT put those pics online. To NOT touch drunk girls.

A drunk guy swaying his dick around is awesome, what a fantastic guy! A "LOOK WHAT MY DRUNK BUDDY DID!"-caption on a picture will not haunt him. It's "cool".

Yet an abused girl is a slut.

Teach your sons.

[Thanos]

Brenda Brenda:

Teach your sons.

Too much to ever expect from some people apparently, judging from some of the responses here. And that's one hell of a tragedy right there.

[andyt]

Brenda Brenda:

I agree, but like you said, what about parents with boys? I have 2 girls. Why can't the girls make a mistake without it haunting them forever?
Raise your boys to NOT put those pics online. To NOT touch drunk girls.

A drunk guy swaying his dick around is awesome, what a fantastic guy! A "LOOK WHAT MY DRUNK BUDDY DID!"-caption on a picture will not haunt him. It's "cool".

Yet an abused girl is a slut.

Teach your sons.

Well, in the Port Moody Case, the one guy convicted was the one that posted pics, tho he was not there when the pics were taken. So nobody is giving anybody a pass.

This case started off with a bang - girl gang raped at rave! Everybody was ready to get out the pitchforks and torches. And then it just sort of petered out, the RCMP invistigation just didn't go anywhere. And, I'd rather believe the cops did a good job than that they are all in a conspiracy to protect young rapists. Things in these situations are often not clear. We had the feminists with the mantra "women don't lie" and for a while just a woman's say so was enough to convict. Thank God we've moved on from that (another one was children don't lie) and now require more evidence than that, try to strike a balance.

I do think in the Port Moody case there are kids protecting other kids, and that's a shame. But to hang some (male) kid just because we want to extract vengence, when he may have had nothing to do with it it not right either.

[Brenda]

Oh, I agree with you on that. I don't think Anonymous should be involved at all, because they do the same as all those kids who bullied Rehtaeh. And they too fuck up.

Fact remains, one girl is dead because so many others bullied her, and there are still people saying she, as a 15 year old, should "not have been there so it wouldn't have happened".

I'm sorry, but ANYONE should be able to run around drunk and naked, without the risk of getting raped. Simple.

People (male or female) should have the decency and respect for others to NOT post hurtful shit online, AND bully them with it later.

[Unsound]

Brenda Brenda:

I agree, but like you said, what about parents with boys? I have 2 girls. Why can't the girls make a mistake without it haunting them forever?
Raise your boys to NOT put those pics online. To NOT touch drunk girls.

A drunk guy swaying his dick around is awesome, what a fantastic guy! A "LOOK WHAT MY DRUNK BUDDY DID!"-caption on a picture will not haunt him. It's "cool".

Yet an abused girl is a slut.

Teach your sons.

How bout teach our kids? Girls, recognize and avoid bad situations. Boys, don't be fuck-heads.

Fact is though, one mistake can haunt a boy forever too. They're just different kinds of mistakes. A boy runs his mouth not realizing he's dealing with people who use bats or knives instead of fists... paralyzed/brain-damaged/dead. Boy has a date with a mentally unstable girl... now he's a rapist. Even if it's never proven, even if it's conclusively proven she lied... he's a rapist for the rest of his life.

Life is unfair. Bad things happen to good people. It sucks. It sucks a lot. But running off half cocked forming lynch mobs or asking fucking Anonymous of all people to pursue justice for us... stupid.

[Brenda]

Unsound Unsound:

How bout teach our kids? Girls, recognize and avoid bad situations. Boys, don't be fuck-heads.

"Girls, don't wear a short skirt", "boys, when you fling your dick around, make sure she isn't crazy"?

$1:

Life is unfair. Bad things happen to good people. It sucks. It sucks a lot. But running off half cocked forming lynch mobs or asking fucking Anonymous of all people to pursue justice for us... stupid.

I agree. Fully.

[andyt]

Anyone should be able to run around drunk and naked and not get raped. I should be able to plaster 100 dollar bills all over my body and not get robbed. I should be able to leave my bike anywhere and not have it stolen.

But, none of those are a good idea. Prosecute people we have sufficient proof for if they did any of those things. But don't take out a desire for vengance on possibly innocent people. And, blaming the victim or not, just as I'd be called stupid for leaving my bike out in a high theft area (even with a lock), it's stupid to get so drunk you don't know what you're doing.

A lot of the bullies of his girl, and Amanda Todd, were other girls. There's the harm of the actual event, and the equal harm of the shaming afterwards. So teach your sons and your daughters what's right and wrong. But those teens didn't create the world they live in, and their behavior is not unusual these days. So we need to look at the rest of us, and what kind of society we are creating. Too much gree and self interest given a free reign would be what I see the problem is. Too many parents working like dogs to have some sort of material life, and letting family life go to the dogs.