[BartSimpson]

Thanos Thanos:

They can't if we don't tell them where we're going. Or just lie about. "Alpha Centauri. You can forward my mail and bills to Alpha Centauri" - me, booking a one-way flight in the opposite direction to Archer 7, where the beaches don't have an ending and the plains look like an endless and immaculate golf course.

Oooh, sounds like a great place to develop into a condominium resort!

[Thanos]

No. No condos allowed. Just cabanas on the beach and teepees on the plains. Condos are only good for attracting the same type of morons I'm trying to get away from.

Also disallowed on my world for the crimes of excessive idiocy/douchebaggery just in case the orbital defense system of mines, anti-matter torpedo platforms, and a billion grapefruit-sized ball-bearings doesn't weed them out first:

- churches/mosques/synagogues/miscillaneous temples of any sort
- karaoke-contest television or any and all "reality" television programming
- "think" tanks
- union halls
- campus conservative clubs
- municipal planning offices
- football leagues of any sort (both American and European varieties)
- fraternity and sorority houses
- schools of economics and political science
- human rights complaint boards
- any and all corporations larger than a 1950's era Mom 'n' Pop store
- communist, national socialist, republican, democrat, and New Democrat political parties
- social conservative groups of any ilk will be detained without food and water in the holding cells at the Lord Thanos Interstellar Spaceport terminal and be processed for immediate cargo-hold deportation to the salt mines on Wolf 359
- anyone with a net worth of more than $500 000 US; any rises in net worth not resulting from the accruing of simple interest alone (maximum allowable interest rate of 1%) shall warrant immediate on-the-spot execution by decapitation
- all high school drop-outs; seriously, how dumb and/or stoned do you have to be NOT to finish something as ridiculously easy as high school?
- it is considered a high crime against the state, punishable by being tossed off the top of the nearest waterfall to the jagged rocks below, to possess or attempt to import any media collection that includes episodes of Girls, Gossip Girl, Sex & The City, Glee, The Vampire Diaries, or any other such type of episodic "entertainment" with a built-in appeal to a core audience consisting of teenaged/early-20's females and effiminate gay men in their mid-40's
- possession of any "bro"-porn of the Entourage variety or any other aggressively anti-social acts normally associated with wearing baseball hats with the brim turned backwards is also punishable by being staked out in the desert, glazed down with meat sauce, and fed genitalia-first to the local version of the honey badger and/or Burmese python

I'll try to think up more later but I do believe that this draft list is a good start for keeping my new society benign, tolerant, incredibly mellow, existentially un-annoying, and almost 100% asshole-free.

And, yes, this is our official national anthem. Get used to it.

[Dragon-Dancer]

Thanos Thanos:

Good work by the physics nerds. If this leads to the development of an operable warp drive in the next ten years, just so I can finally get off this fucking planet and away from all these goddamn morons, then I'm all for it.

Hey, did I just say that out loud?

- Daniel "Thanos" Plainview

"The only constant in the universe is stupidity." Quote from somewhere or other I no longer remember.

[andyt]

Dragon-Dancer Dragon-Dancer:

Thanos Thanos:

Good work by the physics nerds. If this leads to the development of an operable warp drive in the next ten years, just so I can finally get off this fucking planet and away from all these goddamn morons, then I'm all for it.

Hey, did I just say that out loud?

- Daniel "Thanos" Plainview

"The only constant in the universe is stupidity." Quote from somewhere or other I no longer remember.

You must have misheard it - it's impermanence.

[ShepherdsDog]

Thanos Thanos:

No. No condos allowed. Just cabanas on the beach and teepees on the plains. Condos are only good for attracting the same type of morons I'm trying to get away from.

Also disallowed on my world for the crimes of excessive idiocy/douchebaggery just in case the orbital defense system of mines, anti-matter torpedo platforms, and a billion grapefruit-sized ball-bearings doesn't weed them out first:

- churches/mosques/synagogues/miscillaneous temples of any sort
- karaoke-contest television or any and all "reality" television programming
- "think" tanks
- union halls
- campus conservative clubs
- municipal planning offices
- football leagues of any sort (both American and European varieties)
- fraternity and sorority houses
- schools of economics and political science
- human rights complaint boards
- any and all corporations larger than a 1950's era Mom 'n' Pop store
- communist, national socialist, republican, democrat, and New Democrat political parties
- social conservative groups of any ilk will be detained without food and water in the holding cells at the Lord Thanos Interstellar Spaceport terminal and be processed for immediate cargo-hold deportation to the salt mines on Wolf 359
- anyone with a net worth of more than $500 000 US; any rises in net worth not resulting from the accruing of simple interest alone (maximum allowable interest rate of 1%) shall warrant immediate on-the-spot execution by decapitation
- all high school drop-outs; seriously, how dumb and/or stoned do you have to be NOT to finish something as ridiculously easy as high school?
- it is considered a high crime against the state, punishable by being tossed off the top of the nearest waterfall to the jagged rocks below, to possess or attempt to import any media collection that includes episodes of Girls, Gossip Girl, Sex & The City, Glee, The Vampire Diaries, or any other such type of episodic "entertainment" with a built-in appeal to a core audience consisting of teenaged/early-20's females and effiminate gay men in their mid-40's
- possession of any "bro"-porn of the Entourage variety or any other aggressively anti-social acts normally associated with wearing baseball hats with the brim turned backwards is also punishable by being staked out in the desert, glazed down with meat sauce, and fed genitalia-first to the local version of the honey badger and/or Burmese python

I'll try to think up more later but I do believe that this draft list is a good start for keeping my new society benign, tolerant, incredibly mellow, existentially un-annoying, and almost 100% asshole-free.

And, yes, this is our official national anthem. Get used to it.

What about the beer, or will there be an analogous sugar cane plant that begins fermenting naturally?