[Newsbot]

Title: Canuck the Crow flies off with knife from crime scene in Vancouver
Category: Funny
Posted By: N_Fiddledog
Date: 2016-05-27 00:52:42
Canadian

[Tyler_1]

When I was small, every night I had a dream with a big black bird yelling at me outside the window. Since then I have learned that I probably just had a message.

[PluggyRug]

Tyler_1 Tyler_1:

When I was small, every night I had a dream with a big black bird yelling at me outside the window. Since then I have learned that I probably just had a message.

That wasn't a dream.

[BartSimpson]

$1:

Const. Brian Montague confirmed that a bird picked up a knife...

In the US this would read:

When the suspect picked up the knife the officer feared for his life and opened fire on the knife-wielding bird shooting it eighteen times in the back.

The shooting has since been determined to have been justified.

[raydan]

Tyler_1 Tyler_1:

When I was small, every night I had a dream with a big black bird yelling at me outside the window. Since then I have learned that I probably just had a message.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”

[2Cdo]

The bird was obviously an accomplice.

[herbie]

Joking online I saw "No murder - only one crow involved"

[Tyler_1]

PluggyRug PluggyRug:

Tyler_1 Tyler_1:

When I was small, every night I had a dream with a big black bird yelling at me outside the window. Since then I have learned that I probably just had a message.

That wasn't a dream.

[Tyler_1]

raydan raydan:

Tyler_1 Tyler_1:

When I was small, every night I had a dream with a big black bird yelling at me outside the window. Since then I have learned that I probably just had a message.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”

Ohhhh.
Do you have anything up your sleeve for crocodiles under the bed?
That a happened a couple of times when I woke up and had to pee.

[DrCaleb]

herbie herbie:

Joking online I saw "No murder - only one crow involved"

If it were two crows, then it would be "attempted murder".