Stumble It!
The trouble with memory is that I dont have any.
Of course this is stretching the truth most times, but some days I think my memory has gone by way of the spam filter on my e-mail. Think of this way, somewhere along the line of aging, I find myself reaching an empty black vault for something I need to retrieve for that second someones name, a password, or an item on a mental to-do list.
Most of my memory problems are short-term; that is what someone has told me a minute ago goes out the chute to the garbage bin as soon as I hear the words. Okay, so some of it is considered selective hearing; you know the kind, Mom whats for supper: Hon, did you see my hat; or can I borrow twenty bucks.
Some things I want to forget on purpose like who I voted for and didnt win, a lifes most embarrassing moment, or a stupid thing I said accidentally on purpose.
The trouble with memory is that I need it at very important times; for instance, remembering the bosss name when Im first introduced, my husbands birth date, paying an important bill, or my pin number. The trouble is I cannot live without memory. Even my computer needs memory to survive.
There are many reasons for memory loss or memory manipulation. Women conveniently forget their ages at certain stages in their lives; men may exaggerate the size of the fish they caught last weekend, kids may act dumb when you ask them if they forgot to clean their bedrooms. What bedroom! I have a bedroom!
Despite the fun things I can do with memory, I need it for a lot more than remembering the last play in a card game. Memory is important to daily living - now where did I put those reading glasses; Im sure I saw a twenty dollar bill somewhere in my purse, or I know I left my car keys in my old pair of pants without memory wed lose living the game of life.
As I get old I can make use of bad memory by forgetting things I hate to think about or as Friedrich Nietzche put it, The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. Thats me folks.
You know, even politicians enjoy bad memories: one, when theyve forgotten to keep a promise; two, when they hope against all hope voters will glance over past mistakes in a new election. If the politicians can endorse lousy memory, so can I.
The trouble with memory is that I dont have any. Oops, I think I said this already.
End.
By Suzanne Berton
Kingston, Ontario
http://www.artabus.com/berton/
http://www.geocities.com/sumemere/SuzanneBertonsCaricaturesindex.html
http://www.artmajeur.com/suberton/
Dalton McGuinty Libe
LIBERAL GAS
Gas Pricing in Thund
Gas Pricing
Dalton McGuinty Gree
Dalton McGuinty Gree
Dalton McGuinty Heal
Mobile
Anyway, this is a great article, and I really enjoyed reading it. I hope to see some more humorous looks at aging in the near future.
damn I can't remember where I'm from or what my user name is .
This is a perfect example of why you should write these things down, Banff.
It is locked securely in my head. The neurons have quit communicating. Writing down where I hide stuff defeats the purpose of hiding it, unless I hide the note too.
The best method of remembering something is to attach a mnemonic to it. For instance if you hide your silk bra in the oven stub out a cigarette on one of your boobs.
The burn will associate the oven with your silk bra.
(Okay, okay, I admit it: I've done just that! )
That is why they make permanent ink pens.
Staedtler Lumocolor sticks like poop to a blanket. Near as good as a tattoo.
But where on the bod is there enough room to write:
"36 paces from the fig tree due north. 6 more due East. Locate the third brick on the retaining wall. Pry it loose. Take the floopy disk wrapped in purple plastic and read it into Microsoft excel. The 44th line will indicate where your keys are."
8O
That is why they make permanent ink pens.
Staedtler Lumocolor sticks like poop to a blanket. Near as good as a tattoo.
But where on the bod is there enough room to write:
"36 paces from the fig tree due north. 6 more due East. Locate the third brick on the retaining wall. Pry it loose. Take the floopy disk wrapped in purple plastic and read it into Microsoft excel. The 44th line will indicate where your keys are."